stop being a douchemcmuffin. I AM A GOOD PERSON DAMMIT ALL I WANT IS A CHEAP APARTMENT SO I CAN BUY A NEW COMPY AND MAYBE SOME GAMING HAPPINESS arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
captain-sherlock-mcdoctor-pants: dicksoclock: oh god so earlier today my dad and i came back from grocery shopping and we were putting everything away and he pulls my a box of my tampons out of the bag and turns to me and says “where do these go?” and there was kind of this awkward moment of silence before i went “…my vagina” and then he kind of just fell over and nearly cried and was...
the-hatred-machine: gamzee-the-codtier: baka-you-really-think-i: I WAS IN MY HOTEL ROOM DANCING TO JAPANESE MUSIC IN MY KARKAT COSPLAY WHEN I NOTICED THE CURATINS WERE OPEN AND THIS NEPETA COSPLAYER WAS JUST STARING AT ME AND STARTED TO DANCE TOO WHERE THE FUCK DID SHE COME FROM IM NOT EVEN AT A CON OR ANYTHING IM SCREAMING sounds like the beginning of a cosplay romance movie I ship...
inamerica15: yesicanbelieveit: ...
Sometimes we can choose the paths we follow. Sometimes our choices are made for...– Neil Gaiman (via kari-shma)
OF FUCKING COURSEEEE
WHY DOES THE WHOLE WORLD THINK THEY CAN JUST FUCK ME OVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR *DESTROYS WORLD INCINERATES LIFE,SLAPS HOES QUITS*
littleyaoithings: so yesterday i told my mom i needed more bras so she took me to victorias secret and this lady fitted me and so i went into a dressing room with one of like the try on bras or whatever and while i was putting it on i heard the lady and my mom giggling and i heard the lady said “everything about her is tiny!” nD I HISSED THROUGH MY TEETH “EXCEPT MY DICK” AND I DIDNT THINK...
(I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)
Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”
Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”
Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”
Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”
(I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)
goobsohard: The sexual tension between two people when one of them says “make me”
tourist: could you give us directions to Olive Garden?
new yorker: no, but i could give you directions to an actual Italian restaurant lol
tourist: oh you think you're clever???
new yorker: what
tourist: i'm going to meet my dying neice and she happens to love olive garden so her whole family is going to eat with her so she'll have a few moments of happiness
new yorker: oh... oh i'm so sor
tourist: no shut the fuck up you piece of shit. i'll find it myself
the tourist drives off and the new yorker is left to think about his life choices and his decision to be a giant condescending asshole
Wreck-It-Rantsom.: jawhaw: captainabs:... →
jawhaw: captainabs: the-kiwi-avenger: consulting-god-of-badassery: incurablyspooky: daemon-hearts: A minute of silence for all the good books with bad movie adaptions. A minute of silence for all the bad books that are getting movie adaptations. A minute of…
The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too...– Ernest Hemingway (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
steampaisley: whostherepandabear: soul-stuck: Credit to: Xamag-homestuck.tumblr.com J because Gamzee didn’t freak me out ENOUGH ALREADY. GOG.
Judging by my Tumblr, post in my ask what you...